Sober October: Why One Month Can Change Everything
Fall is here! Where are all my "fall girlies" at? I have no shame in my basic PSL drinking, sweater-weather, cozy scarf-wearing game. I'm so here for it.
Guys...I'm closing in on one year of sobriety, and let me tell you, it's been the most transformative experience of my life!!! Well, minus when I became a mom. But with Sober October starting up in a few days, I wanted to share a bit of my journey and hopefully inspire some of you to take the plunge, even if it's just for 31 days!
Why try Sober October? For me, alcohol started as something I'd use to unwind, celebrate milestones, or just fit in at social events. It was so ingrained in my routine that I didn't even realize how much it was impacting my mental health, mood, and energy. The pandemic shutdown completely increased the amount and occurrence of when I would drink and I knew that alcohol usage is a slippery slope. When I decided to take a break from drinking it wasn't because I thought I had a problem. I was simply curious about how I would feel without alcohol, spoiler alert - it changed everything. Sober October is the perfect opportunity to experiment with a life without alcohol without a long-term commitment. Just one month to really get curious, experience what it's like to live a sober lifestyle and tune into your body and mind.
First let's talk about the common misconception that sobriety is all about what you lose - nights out, drinks with friends, or even a way to destress. But when you allow yourself some time and space from booze you'll see the shift of this perception and realize it is all about what you gain:
A CLEAR MINDSET: I was really struggling with "brain fog" before I quit drinking. I even blamed it on having Covid a few years ago. It was just within a few weeks of quitting that I felt so much more focused and sharper.
ENERGY BOOST: Reclaiming the mornings is the biggest life hack in terms of being productive. Instead of waking up and nursing a hangover, the mornings are now my favorite time of day.
CONFIDENCE: Do one thing you never thought you could sober, whether that's going to a football game, having dinner with friends, or even just watching TV at home on a Friday night without your regular glass(es) of wine and you will be riding a wave of confidence. Trust me on this.
IMPROVED DIGESTION: I didn't even realize my gut health was subpar until I quit drinking and started experiencing what it was like not to have a tummy ache all the time. Bye bye bloat!
BETTER SLEEP: This is coming for a girl who took Tylonel PM on top of alcohol almost every night to fall asleep. Within weeks after quitting drinking I was sleeping through the night and not waking up with that sluggish feeling I would have after taking a sleeping pill. No more waking up at 3:30 AM with a racing heart, anxiety, and having to pee for the 5th time.
FATTER WALLET: Think about the cost alcohol. How much are you spending a week on a bottle of wine? Imagine what you can do with all that money!
IMPROVED SKIN: Alcohol dehydrates you, including the largest organ of the human body, our skin. Drinking alcohol is like giving your skin a permanent VIP ticket to the ‘Wrinkle Express’—it may be a fun ride, but you’ll arrive looking a few years older.
Let's talk about some tips for a successful Sober October.
1. Set your intentions: Get a pen and paper out and get clear on WHY you want to do this. Whether it's to feel better, gain clarity, or just because you want to give your body and brain a break, it's important to keep your "why" front and center. For the first few weeks of my sober-curious experiment, my iphone wallpaper was a horrible photo of myself when I was hungover to remind me exactly why I don't want a drink.
2. Prepare for triggers: Take a look at your calendar and identify any events or situations that might come up where you would usually have a drink and plan alternatives. Keep a non-alcoholic drink in your purse if you're going anywhere or check the menu beforehand for what the N/A options are. My biggest trigger was cooking dinner here at home, so when I felt that urge to grab my drink, I made sure to have non-alcoholic beer and sparkling water in the fridge to grab.
3. Play the tape forward: We tend to romanticize the effects of alcohol. We walk past a couple having dinner, clinking their wine glasses, and think to ourselves, "I can have one glass of wine that's nothing." But I encourage you to play that entire tape forward of the rest of the night. What does it look like after that one glass of wine? Are you stopping there? Probably not, simply because our human brain is programmed to follow the dopamine rush, so we'll have one more to keep that going or try to anyway. What really happens is that after the first 20 minutes that we consume ethanol, our brain will not continue to create more dopamine with each drink, it will chase it like a dog chases its tail. If you could watch my tape to the fullest you'd see sometimes I came over after drinking more than I wanted to, shoved my face with all the junk food I avoided all week, swallowed sleeping pills, and woke up with a pounding headache and unnecessary anxiety.
4. Plan ahead: It might sound corny, but I would plan ahead what I would say if someone offered me a drink. It being "Sober October" makes it quite easy, because you can just say, "Oh I'm doing Sober October with a friend, but thanks anyway!" But you can also say, "I'm taking a break from alcohol for a little while" or "No thanks, I have a drink already" and take a sip out of that cute Stanley you spent way too much money on.
5. Find your tribe: Community is VITAL. If you are sober-curious, connect with others who are too! You can reach out to someone you know who doesn't drink (hi, it's me), join an online group (I recommend "Sober Sis"), or you can follow sober influencers online. The sober community on Instagram is so supportive.
6. Quit-Lit: Check out books like "We are the Luckiest," by Laura McKowen or "The Naked Mind," by Annie Grace. There is also "Blackout" by Sarah Hepola and "Quit Like a Woman," by Holly Whitaker. I've read quite a few books about sober-curiosity and sobriety, and these have been my favorite. And if you feel the "boredom" that often comes up when you are no longer boozing, having a book to read is a great way to fill that time.
Celebrate the small wins: Every day you don't drink is a victory. Treat yourself to something special or reflect on how you're feeling that day and share it with someone! Some days will be total "sober wins" and other days will feel so challenging because you'll have to sit with the feelings that alcohol usually numbs, but that is all part of the sober-curious experiment.
My Challenge to You
I will always be honest when it comes to my journey, some days were really tough. But the growth and self-awareness that came with pushing myself through those moments made it all worth it. When you are triggered, or going to a place that is going to be centered around alcohol, reach out! Check in with your sober-curious community and let them know that this will be challenging.
Sober October could be the first step toward something so huge, or it might be a refreshing break. Either way, it's a chance to experience life a little differently - and who knows? You might end up loving it!
If you are sober-curious or thinking about giving Sober October a try, I am cheering you on! Let's do this together, one day at a time.
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