Dry January is Over...Now What?
Dry January was a success! Yay! Now what?
The struggle is real you guys. I quit drinking for 31 days and I know how cliche this sounds, but I haven't ever felt better. I have been so productive and my mental health is well, healthy. So why am I making a mountain out of a molehill when it comes to drinking again?
I am hoping that writing about my conflicted feelings about drinking will bring some clarity to the uncertain future relationship that I'll have with alcohol. Not only have I proven that I can live without alcohol, but I can also enjoy my life without it. Starting this journey I was apprehensive about how much my marriage, parenting, and friendships would change if I didn't drink. I'm pleased to say that everything I just mentioned wasn't affected negatively. In fact, I think all aspects of my life have improved since I quit.
I know I'm making it sound like I had an addiction to alcohol, so I want to be clear, I am not trying to belittle anyone who is struggling with a full-blown addiction. Addiction is real and I pray that you know help is available and that you don't have to continue to live the vicious cycle of addiction. You are valued, loved, supported, and seen.
I think that the relationship I had with alcohol is what a lot of people have, I call it the "gray area." In the gray area, I found that I don't struggle with physical codependency with booze, but I certainly reached for it in times of stress. I also never gave alcohol a second thought, it just wasn't a "big deal." For some, alcohol and situations go hand-in-hand. For example, girls' night out, shots. Baseball game, beer. Birthday dinner, wine. But those situations are few and far between for most people. My situations were a lot more frequent, like making dinner every night, beer. Monday night football, beer. Thursday night football, beer. Friday with friends, beer and shots. Saturday, it's the weekend, of course, beer. Sunday, usually sober, but hey if the Eagles are on, I'm drinking. It didn't mean I was completely black-out drunk or drinking to the point of not knowing when to stop, but clear boundaries didn't exist.
If I have gained anything from "Dry January" (and I have) it's that having boundaries is essential for living an intentional life. There should be boundaries for everything, especially for alcohol. But think about this, what if you didn't have boundaries when it comes to your home? That means no locks on your windows or doors, no fences, no security cameras, nothing. Those things exist for our protection. Without them, anyone or anything can come and go as they please and that just feels unsafe.
Going forward, setting boundaries means clearly labeling what is acceptable and what is not. It's not about keeping anything out, but it's about protecting what's inside. I am in that process as we speak. I'm going to value myself enough to give myself time to think about what my boundaries with alcohol look like. And I'm giving myself permission to adjust or change my boundaries as my journey as a "mindful drinker" continues.
If you are sober curious or have yet to give yourself an extended break from alcohol or any other kind of gray area in your life, my advice as someone who successfully completed Dry January is don't go at it alone. Let the people in your life closest to you know what you are doing, hopefully, they will give you the support you need. If they don't, know that there are groups, apps, books, and many free resources online that will give you added support. I'll list some of my favorite resources that I found helpful at the end of this blog.
Today, I am celebrating 31 days of zero alcohol and allowing this accomplishment to propel me forward into a more intentional life. And I hope that as you read this to yourself you're able to reflect on your accomplishments over this past month and focus on the things you're proud of and take inventory of the things you want to change knowing the power to change is already in you. You're one choice away from making all the difference in the world.
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